EXCERPTS FROM THE BOOK
EXAMPLES OF EXERCISES FROM ALL BOOKS
1. Visualize yourself letting go of undesirable fat several times a day. On a scale of 1-10, how does it feel? What is
the first step you can take to have this happen. Start with a goal you will succeed. When you have reached this goal, make another goal which you can succeed in achieving. (Sucess breeds success.)
2. Have a dialogue with your body. What do you need to say to it? What does your body need to say to you? Tell yourself each day, "I love my body". Even though it does not feel sincere at first, it works and you will begin to change your feelings about your body. Once you love your body, you will not want to abuse it with food or lack of food.
3. Recall the last time you starved, binged, or purged. Rather than beating yourself up for doing this, try to learn from it. Describe what you ate, your feelings and thoughts prior to the episode. What can you do the next time the desire is there?
4. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and when you start to obsess about your weight or food , pull back the rubber band gently and say, "Stop that thinking". Switch from obsessive thoughts to nurturing caring thoughts.
5. Write down ten words that decribe your negative feelings and thoughts about your body. Allow yourself to experience fully what it means for you to identify yourself this way. Now let go of this self-identification as if you were taking off your clothes. Replace it with a postive statement. Each time you put food in front of yourself, tell yourself this positive statement. At first, it will feel insincere. However, in time you will begin to believe it.
6 Take a brown paper bag and write "higher power" on it. The next time you feel discouraged, overwhelmed, or do not know what to do, write your problem down on a piece of paper. Place the paper and all the feelings in the bag with the problem State to your higher power, "I am no longer able to deal with this problem. I give it to you to handle this for me." (You will be amazed how relieved you will feel.)
1. Visualize yourself letting go of undesirable fat several times a day. On a scale of 1-10, how does it feel? What is
the first step you can take to have this happen. Start with a goal you will succeed. When you have reached this goal, make another goal which you can succeed in achieving. (Sucess breeds success.)
2. Have a dialogue with your body. What do you need to say to it? What does your body need to say to you? Tell yourself each day, "I love my body". Even though it does not feel sincere at first, it works and you will begin to change your feelings about your body. Once you love your body, you will not want to abuse it with food or lack of food.
3. Recall the last time you starved, binged, or purged. Rather than beating yourself up for doing this, try to learn from it. Describe what you ate, your feelings and thoughts prior to the episode. What can you do the next time the desire is there?
4. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and when you start to obsess about your weight or food , pull back the rubber band gently and say, "Stop that thinking". Switch from obsessive thoughts to nurturing caring thoughts.
5. Write down ten words that decribe your negative feelings and thoughts about your body. Allow yourself to experience fully what it means for you to identify yourself this way. Now let go of this self-identification as if you were taking off your clothes. Replace it with a postive statement. Each time you put food in front of yourself, tell yourself this positive statement. At first, it will feel insincere. However, in time you will begin to believe it.
6 Take a brown paper bag and write "higher power" on it. The next time you feel discouraged, overwhelmed, or do not know what to do, write your problem down on a piece of paper. Place the paper and all the feelings in the bag with the problem State to your higher power, "I am no longer able to deal with this problem. I give it to you to handle this for me." (You will be amazed how relieved you will feel.)
EXAMPLES FROM THE 2ND EDITION BOOK
Many find it helpful to read the entire book prior to working on the exercises. You may choose to work on the exercises alone, with a friend, or in a group. Begin your journal by doing the exercises that are pertinent to you. You do not have to do them in any particular order. Examples of what clients have said or what you may say to yourself at times have been italicized. Simply add to the list how the topic applies to you. After the italic statements, therapist comments are in capital letters.
For example:
1. Beliefs I can change about my body include:
a. I can tell myself I love my body. (FAKE IT UNITL YOU MAKE IT.)
b. I can love my body without it being perfect. (STRIVING FOR PERFECTION IS AN UNREALISTIC
GOAL.)
c. I can accept and love my body even if it isn't at my ideal weight. ( LOVING YOUR BODY IS A STEP IN
REACHING YOUR IDEAL WEIGHT.)
2. If my body could talk what would it say to me?
a. My body feels like a car with all its parts worn out. It's hard to make it go anymore. (Anorexic)
b. My body feels raw from throwing up all the time. (Bulimic)
c. My body is so tired from carrying all this weight. Please give me a break. (binge eater)
3. Close your eyes and relax. Imagine your child inside yourself. There is a
a child in you who wants to play, wants you to stop criticizing her,
and wants to have her needs met. Listen to the child who says, “I am
tired of being good and doing for others. I want my needs heard.”
Now imagine the parent inside of you. See the critical parent who says
mean and nasty things to that child of yours. Take that critical parent
and say, “NO MORE! I am not going to let you hurt my child
within anymore.” Stamp out the critical parent with your feet. Eliminate it.
Now substitute your critical parent with a nurturing parent who
allows you to make mistakes, loves you unconditionally and is always
there to protect you from that critical parent. Now say, “Hello” to the
adult in you who helps the child within to make decisions that are
healthy for you. Thank your adult for helping make decisions the child
within does not have the experience to make. Allow yourself to feel
this child, nurturing parent, and adult within.
4. What are some changes I can make in my thinking?
a. Without my body, there would not be me. Therefore, I can make this a meaningful, postive , rather than a
negative destructive relationship. ( IT WILL FEEL GOOD TO HAVE A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP. IT JUST
WILL TAKE TIME TO MAKE THIS SHIFT.)
b. Think and value my body for what it does instead of how it looks. ( OUR BODIES ARE REALLY
AMAZING.)
c. People do not judge me according to my looks and weight. Instead they judge me on the type of person I
am. (HOW SAD IT IS WHEN WE JUDGE OUR OUTSIDE TO BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT IS
INSIDE.)
5. For every negative judgment that I say about my body, balance it with positive statement.
a. My hips are too fat and round.
1. My hips allow my legs to move.
2. My round hips are better than those of my friend who is going to have to have hip surgery.
3. My hips are large, but the rest of my body is not.
b. My breasts are too large.
1. My friend who had cancer and had her breasts removed would probably be delighted to have my
breasts, no matter how large they are.
2. My husband likes the fullness of my breasts.
3. I can dress to take the accent away from my breasts.
6. Action I can take to overcome my perfectionism:
1. Tell myself it is OK to make mistakes. The only mistake is not to try. Each time I make a mistake
I am going to say " what can I learn from my mistake instead of beating myself up. ( LIFE BECOMES
MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE WHEN WE ARE NOT SO HARD ON OURSELVES.)
2. Enjoy the present instead of always looking to do better. (ONCE WE ENJOY THE MOMENT, PRESSURE
IS OFF TO WORRY ABOUT THE PAST OR FUTURE.)
3. When I learn to accept myself as I am, the need to impress others will lessen and the need for food will
also lessen. ( ACCEPTING ONESELF IS IMPORTANT STEP IN CONTROLLING OUR EATING)
7. My pattern of deprivation include:
1. I starve myself. I go all day without eating. This makes me feel powerful. (Anorexic)
2. I buy things for the rest of my family, buy do not buy things for myself.
(Bulimic and binge eater)
3. I am always thinking of what I can do for others, but never what I can do for myself. (Bulimics and binge
eaters)
8. My lack of assertiveness is related to my eating by:
1. When I let others walk all over me, I get so mad at myself, I starve myself. (Anorexic)
2. When I don't speak up for my rights, I stuff the feelings by purging. (Bulimic )
3. When I don't confront others, I eat to make myself feel better. (bulimics and binge eaters)
For example:
1. Beliefs I can change about my body include:
a. I can tell myself I love my body. (FAKE IT UNITL YOU MAKE IT.)
b. I can love my body without it being perfect. (STRIVING FOR PERFECTION IS AN UNREALISTIC
GOAL.)
c. I can accept and love my body even if it isn't at my ideal weight. ( LOVING YOUR BODY IS A STEP IN
REACHING YOUR IDEAL WEIGHT.)
2. If my body could talk what would it say to me?
a. My body feels like a car with all its parts worn out. It's hard to make it go anymore. (Anorexic)
b. My body feels raw from throwing up all the time. (Bulimic)
c. My body is so tired from carrying all this weight. Please give me a break. (binge eater)
3. Close your eyes and relax. Imagine your child inside yourself. There is a
a child in you who wants to play, wants you to stop criticizing her,
and wants to have her needs met. Listen to the child who says, “I am
tired of being good and doing for others. I want my needs heard.”
Now imagine the parent inside of you. See the critical parent who says
mean and nasty things to that child of yours. Take that critical parent
and say, “NO MORE! I am not going to let you hurt my child
within anymore.” Stamp out the critical parent with your feet. Eliminate it.
Now substitute your critical parent with a nurturing parent who
allows you to make mistakes, loves you unconditionally and is always
there to protect you from that critical parent. Now say, “Hello” to the
adult in you who helps the child within to make decisions that are
healthy for you. Thank your adult for helping make decisions the child
within does not have the experience to make. Allow yourself to feel
this child, nurturing parent, and adult within.
4. What are some changes I can make in my thinking?
a. Without my body, there would not be me. Therefore, I can make this a meaningful, postive , rather than a
negative destructive relationship. ( IT WILL FEEL GOOD TO HAVE A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP. IT JUST
WILL TAKE TIME TO MAKE THIS SHIFT.)
b. Think and value my body for what it does instead of how it looks. ( OUR BODIES ARE REALLY
AMAZING.)
c. People do not judge me according to my looks and weight. Instead they judge me on the type of person I
am. (HOW SAD IT IS WHEN WE JUDGE OUR OUTSIDE TO BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT IS
INSIDE.)
5. For every negative judgment that I say about my body, balance it with positive statement.
a. My hips are too fat and round.
1. My hips allow my legs to move.
2. My round hips are better than those of my friend who is going to have to have hip surgery.
3. My hips are large, but the rest of my body is not.
b. My breasts are too large.
1. My friend who had cancer and had her breasts removed would probably be delighted to have my
breasts, no matter how large they are.
2. My husband likes the fullness of my breasts.
3. I can dress to take the accent away from my breasts.
6. Action I can take to overcome my perfectionism:
1. Tell myself it is OK to make mistakes. The only mistake is not to try. Each time I make a mistake
I am going to say " what can I learn from my mistake instead of beating myself up. ( LIFE BECOMES
MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE WHEN WE ARE NOT SO HARD ON OURSELVES.)
2. Enjoy the present instead of always looking to do better. (ONCE WE ENJOY THE MOMENT, PRESSURE
IS OFF TO WORRY ABOUT THE PAST OR FUTURE.)
3. When I learn to accept myself as I am, the need to impress others will lessen and the need for food will
also lessen. ( ACCEPTING ONESELF IS IMPORTANT STEP IN CONTROLLING OUR EATING)
7. My pattern of deprivation include:
1. I starve myself. I go all day without eating. This makes me feel powerful. (Anorexic)
2. I buy things for the rest of my family, buy do not buy things for myself.
(Bulimic and binge eater)
3. I am always thinking of what I can do for others, but never what I can do for myself. (Bulimics and binge
eaters)
8. My lack of assertiveness is related to my eating by:
1. When I let others walk all over me, I get so mad at myself, I starve myself. (Anorexic)
2. When I don't speak up for my rights, I stuff the feelings by purging. (Bulimic )
3. When I don't confront others, I eat to make myself feel better. (bulimics and binge eaters)
EXAMPLES FROM 1ST EDITION BOOK AND WORKBOOK
1. Beliefs that I have that keep me from loving my body today:
a. Unless my body is perfect, I can not love it. (PERFECTIION IS NOT A REALISTIC GOAL.)
b. If I accept my body, I will not change it to make it like I want it to be. ( THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE.)
c. In order to change my body, I have to keep beating it up and abusing it. ( IS THIS WORKING? )
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a. Unless my body is perfect, I can not love it. (PERFECTIION IS NOT A REALISTIC GOAL.)
b. If I accept my body, I will not change it to make it like I want it to be. ( THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE.)
c. In order to change my body, I have to keep beating it up and abusing it. ( IS THIS WORKING? )
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CHART FROM 2ND EDITION WORKBOOK
The following chart is taken from the 2nd edition workbook. The 2nd edition book would have the blanks filled in. The first edition book does not have these charts. After each part, check whether you like or dislike that part of your body. Then indicate how this part of your body works for you. For those body parts you like, indicate what action you can take to emphasize this positive feeling. For the parts of your body you dislike, indicate action you can take to feel more positive about your body. For example, if you don't like your hips, each time you have a negative thought about your hips, you replace the negative thought with the function of your hips, such as your hips allowing your legs to move and take you places.
CHART FROM 2ND EDTION BOOK
Below is a copy of a table from the 2nd edition book, The chart would be blank in the 2nd edition workbook. The 1st edition book does not have these charts. You Are More Than What You Weigh. A negative satement is made in the left row and a positive statement is made to the right of the negative comment. Chose one of these comments or a negative comment you often make to yourself. Each time you go through a doorway, say the positive statement. In time, you will believe and feel the positive statement. Remember, it is difficult to change your weight or eating problems until you change your attitude toward your body.
